I know what people are thinking:
We REALLY need to talk about the futures.
The ones from the past.
Right now.
It’s been a minute since we closed out the Future Filled Box contest, and clearly you want to know who won.
The original intent was to have everyone vote on all the entries. But then 4 entries dropped from the sky and these 4 entries were so much better than anything else that was submitted, I knew there was no need to vote. I immediately and unilaterally declared all 4 of them WINNERS. Screw whatever inferior work all you other losers did!
So here are the winners, presented in no particular order (except of course, for the last one which was better than the first 3).
As everyone remembers, the goal of the Future Filed Box contest was to show a shoebox diorama where the theme was the wildly exciting and unknown year ahead.
Jamie was super excited about all the camping she was going to do with her family this year. She even had her daughter help her with their diorama.
After I received her photo I asked Jamie if she could take a wider angle photo for the blog, to which she politely declined. Initially I read her refusal as modesty. But then she explained that she just tossed her vision of the future into the trash right after taking her first photo.
Turns out the future doesn’t have quite the longevity that it used to.
(Whoah… you stoners think about how profound THAT truth is the next time you are doping it up.)
The next winner was Cindy.
No, not that Cindy.
Yeah, no, not that other Cindy either.
Cindy Broderick!
And yes, who the hell is Cindy Broderick?!
Cindy is LTA alumni. You may not have spent so much time with her because she was only an employee for around 5 hours.
Listen. It was the pandemic. It was a weird time. Just roll with it. She’s alumni. (And she produced an entry that was better than yours.)
Cindy used her diorama to share all the beautiful sunsets that she hopes to see this year from the new home she moved into recently. Who says that tax people (like Cindy) can’t master arcane legal loopholes as well as balanced compositions and complementary colors!
The next entry came from Alex B who had a lot of questions about the contest. Actually he only had one question. But he asked that same question like a half dozen time in a row.
Alex- Do I have to bring in the shoebox with my diorama in it?
Me- You have to submit an image of a shoebox diorama.
Alex- Does the physical shoebox need to be submitted?
Me- You have to submit an image of a shoebox diorama.
Alex- So would I need to bring in a shoebox?
Me- You have to submit an image of a shoebox diorama.
And I’m not joking when I say this went on and on and on. All while he was dealing table 31. Chuck was confused on multiple levels.
Obviously I have no idea why this question was so important to Alex. But this is the entry he submitted.
With the image he emailed he explained “My goal is to become the 2026 WSOP main event champion... but to be the best, you gotta BEAT the best”. And for whatever reason, he decided to feature Natalie Portman from the classic Cannes Film Festival, Palm d’Or nominated, Wong Kar Wai film My Blueberry Nights .
Whatever.
My Blueberry Nights. My Blueberry Nights. My Blueberry Nights. Why is everyone so completely obsessed with that movie? (Which is currently streaming for free on Amazon Prime and YouTube and I suppose you could just skip to minute 57 if you are only interested in the poker scenes.)
Why does everyone watch this movie OVER and OVER again. I mean those poker scenes, come on. We’re expected to believe any of those posers knew a full boat from a steel wheel? Pshaw! I say.
Pshaw.
And lastly we have Becky’s entry which concerned the movies that she thinks you should watch this year.
What’s that you're thinking now? Entries were supposed to be shoebox dioramas, not actual theater lobbies. Becky’s image has a shiny floor, and working lights, and brick walls. That’s no diorama! That’s obviously a theater lobby she took a picture of.
You're probably thinking, Becky is a filthy liar. We should all make a blood pact to shun her.
Vigorously!
That's what you were thinking.
But, ha!
You’re wrong.
Unlike some people, Becky never asked shoebox based questions. She just worked her butt off with a borderline marriage-ending devotion to her craft. She brought in an actual shoebox with an actual diorama in it and it was just so awesomely realistic that you believed that, if you wanted to, you could fake a slip and fall on that shiny waxed floor for a big money lawsuit.
Well done Ms. Becky!
All of our winners will walk away with a shiny new CX3 token that they can redeem in the CX3 prize mart. Except of course for Becky, who secures a bag of THREE shinny CX3 tokens for the hard work that made her look like a loon to her husband Victor. Becky, your dedication to Celebration X3 is noticed and appreciated!
“But what about me”, you might ask.
"What if I also lust after CX3 tokens and all the wondrous things they can buy? But I’m all lust, no work. I don’t want to do all that putting in effort and creating stuff like the Becky’s of the world do."
Is there a way I can just sit on my lumpy rump and somehow luck into a CX3 token?
Well, it’s funny you would ask. The very next CX3 event is just for you!
The first round of Banana Baby Beatdown Bingo is starting today.
4 more CX3 tokens will be awarded.
What is Banana Baby Beatdown Bingo, you ask?
I could waste your time here with an overly verbose description of what it is. OR I could just give you the link. (Which will take you to an overly verbose description, but somewhere else).
What are you waiting for?
The sooner you activate your Banana Baby Beatdown Bingo ticket the sooner you can start racking up the Banana Bucks. (Which is a good thing. Just trust me.)
Do not delay!
